If there was work in the bed, you’d sleep on the floor!

Would you like to read some more construction jokes? Sorry, but we are working on it.


Safety comes first:

  • Portwest High Visibility Jacket
  • Hard Hat
  • Master Lock
  • Tessi Shackle Lock
  • Hearing protection, ear muffs
  • Dust masks

Did you hear about the painter wearing two jackets on the job? Instructions said to put on two coats:

  • Sand Paper Mini Roll
  • Dulux White Paint
  • Fleetwood 9″ Roller & 3 Tray sleeves
  • Tile Spacers
  • Tala 5m Measuring tape
  • Douglas Danish oil
  • Rustins, high heat resistance, black paint
  • Rustins, step & tile, gloss floor paint
  • Lowe Rust Primer, paint straight onto rust

What did the brick say to the other bricks? Great news lads, we are all getting laid! Seal over those cracks:

  • Tec7 – All Purpose Instantly Waterproof Adhesive & Sealant
  • GRIPFILL Tube, Adhesive High Performance No Nails Grip
  • Caulking gun
  • Trowel, 6 inch
  • Trowel, 8 inch

A few screws loose?

  • Spax Screw 3.0 X 25 mm
  • Spax Screw 5.0 X 80mm
  • Spax Screw 5.0 X 50mm
  • Spax Screw 4.0 X 70 mm

As hard as nails:

  • Nails, 40 mm
  • Nails, 30 mm
  • Wall Plugs

Another bright idea from Mary’s:

  • Philips Light Bulb 35 Watt
  • Philips Light Bulbs 80 Watt
  • Duracell C Batteries
  • Duracell AA Batteries

Bits ‘N’ Bobs:

  • Dosco junior soft brush
  • Cable ties
  • Saw
  • 3 in 1 Multi-purpose oil

Your everyday tool box argument:

Nail- Screw you!

Screw- Get bent!

For any hardware items not on this list, please enquire behind the bar, we may have more items in stock.